Blistered and Sore

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That voice
Echoing in through the
left and exiting the right
Eerily comforting
addicting
Similar ideals with multiple
personalities and emotions
One day is alright and
the people come out to play
The next, is cloudy and raining
No one is around at all
Relating on words and feelings
I see you
Even perched on this outside balcony
Making claim to a seat that
was never really here
I pause and think you
would probably like it
Or, at least relate to
the comforting darkness
Shadowing me in through the night
Claiming all burned from the sun;
blistered and sore.

I and grateful for rationality <3

Keep Burning

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Warm grazes from the proximity
to the fire envelope all feeling;
Slowly, internally while
Intensifying the sensitivity with each moment of awareness
The mind, dizzied with the
hazy pictures glowing inside the
depths of each flame,
Loses sense of any particular color and
only recognizes the wavering blue
of the passionate blaze
The kindled strength awarded from the battle of the vulnerabilities to the elements,
Demanding patience to keep burning;
Slide of hand over skin

I am grateful for patience <3

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There Is No End

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Walking down the hallway of doors
The outline’s path bordered with wooden dividers of space;
humbled by the careless mark of a
crookedly nailed number or letter
The cheap light fixtures flicker above head, on and off, as I continue stepping forward
The timing reaction of the immediate connections of light, foot, and awareness

There are locked doors with hardened handles, rusted from the abuse of occupation
There are doors that tell the truth, burdened by the weight of the knowledge of joy and pain
There are some doors that ignite the favorable possibilities of a mind’s endless amount of available realities
While other doors sit in waiting, offering a pleasant shelter to get lost in;
revolving around and around in a solitary state of repetitiveness

I open them all, claiming even the locked obstructions
Forcing my way behind the doors into the unknown;
Floating and dipping feet into the depths of a fluffy cloud against the blue sky,
Holding breath underwater, until there is no other sound than my heartbeat in ears,
Flying through space and time as the wished fortune of a shooting star disappearing into the black of the night,
Sprouting petals of color while washing the wind in a fragrance of Spring and of Summer,
Suspended paralyzed in emptiness, like the night terrors and dreams of dead thoughts and emotions of nothingness

There is no end

I am grateful for one more year <3

Behind My Hands

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Haunting eyes stare through the darkness
Faces flash into view
Hollow lines trace the outlines of those watching
Conversations straining under the weight of the night
Silhouettes of emotional calculations
and burning questions of “is this me?”
I close my eyes to hide
Shutting out the indistinct realities of people I’ve never really known
All of the while, ignoring the pain of the days lost with all of their potential happiness
Instead, leaving self with the indescribable bitter endings
These halfway conclusions filling up with mind numbing confusions
So fresh I can taste it
We relate to these shadows of potential when our memories are gone forever
Feeling each similarity of disappointment as each random thought of unaccomplishment floats to the surface
Haunting eyes stare through the darkness
Even with my face hiding behind my hands

I am grateful for new beginnings and happy news <3

Thoughts and Emotions

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Standing among the chaos
Just a single figure within the crowd
I move forward, slowly, only pausing to avoid the confusion
of a particular moment
Feet continue, heel to toe
Feeling the confidence of stride from the connection of the flow
Sinking into the tide of the sea of people going home for the night
One curling wave mimicking the other
We’re all a body of water as we wade collected together in this stagnant pool of thoughts and emotions

I am grateful for good news <3

Lonely Train

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I find the days too short and they grow weary with anticipation
With the night following like an abandoned child crying out for attention
lost and confused
The lonely train whispers its Hello and I wonder if you can hear it too
a thread of a connected thought
from one mind to the next
Ever persistent, time passes us by
leaving the echoes of the train’s Goodnight lingering throughout the city
The ghostly remembrance only makes the silence seem louder
The tha-thump thumping beating passionately in my ears
Reminding me that certain moments can feel longer than wanted or yearned
My lack of patience blatantly stating that we meet with each other again and again
because neither one of us wants to be alone
Familiar patterns of morning, day, and night building up an assortment of attachments and questions
Maybe both of us wondering who would dare to say Goodbye first

I am grateful for connections <3

Insanity

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Each droplet consumes
Pin points of individual pressure
accumulating together to envelope head

Steam gradually billows into nostrils
with a comforting fragrance of soap
mixed within the humidity

Head tilted back as the only
movement worthy of risk
Muscles ache as tension penetrates
each limb fighting for balance

Eyes closed while the torrent
of hot water engulfs
all senses

Deep breath in

Deep breath out

Ever careful to avoid tempting
the bile to advance from chest
into mouth

Lights turned down low
or completely off
Creating smaller spaces within
the safety of darkness

The minutes pass unnoticed
while pressure either eases
or continues to burn
Some migraines are easier to manage
than others

Either the day continues or the
mind is lost to absolute insanity.

I am grateful for the opportunity of modern luxuries <3