Blue Sky to Black

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Another day has descended into darkness
Another scratch mark on the inner walls of my mind
The countless doodles and scribbles of hope, desire, freedom, and pain
Each and every separate feeling and emotion or,
what we choose to understand
Precious moments wasted on having to demand particular explanations
Only to convince instead of just believing

I heard you built your army
The Legions of Light to Brighten the Eyes of those willing to see
A redemption from the shadowy graves where we were born; Do you remember?
We listened to the stories until we could repeat the tales ourselves
And then one day I wondered,
are all of the battle epics just exaggerated myths and folklore?
Were we fooled by the heroes who were only imagined to conquer the monsters lurking in the newly remodeled foyer closets and bathrooms?
A domesticated existence, forged from misdirected rationalities
Each calculated step off of the beaten path weakened by the faltering slips of indecision
All of the while, hiding from the random consequences being thrown around;
blood thirsty vampires of fate trying to choose their next unsuspecting victim

I tried once, I tried twice
to call out and in that space of time,
there wasn’t an answer, no echoing response
Only the painful intensity of silence to contemplate
Am I forgotten, abandoned? Hell no.
Back straight, feet firmly planted into the earth below;
body stature molded to shape the orphaned philosophies that we tried/try to forget
to save room for future expectations;
Watching a blue sky turn to black with a heavy emptiness that blankets the air in a layer of cold sweat
Only the humble stars daring to watch the liminalistic transition
Shining gemstones displaying their fiery stubbornness, all of them
Laughing at the irony as they rise together in their places of effervescent power.

I am grateful for dark nights. <3

Soaking Senses

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11/11/14

There’s always a slowing down of time when the Universe plays its hand
Vision blurs into a drunken lapse of connection
As the last seconds of every whispering thought
float in and out
From those who pass by; gnat-like noises to buzz into the mind
Their penetrating musings muffled by the compilation of instruments composing stereo emotions and feelings
In my left ear and my right ear jointly, and separately, as I
investigate the audio stimulation (versus the intruding glances that I turn my eyes against)

Chance hollers out, seemingly always unexpected, and
Awareness is interrupted by my flustered responses;
heart racing to catch up to the unpredictability of the moment,
pupils enlarge as I squint from the commitment of answering the nagging mouth of a limitless curiosity
I’ve never retained an imagination capable of ignoring even the most unwelcomed sides of all of the angles of questioning,
for too long

Now, focusing in on the details of the shape
A picture that’s ironically freeze-framed into my view
There are no “Hi, how are you?” or, “My name is…” awkward dronings
There is only the inconsistency of time when two consciousnesses collide into one
A few seconds of riding the tidal wave to shore within the ocean of reality
Soaking senses with the intensity of the change in the air
and how it feels

Everything stops and
we stare

Calling for the willpower of concentration, while maintaining gratitude for the fortune of this gift of an intangible absurdity
Meanwhile,
Memorizing the particulars to mentally store the answers to the questions not quite thought up yet
The discovery of another or, at least something like it
Until time speeds up with the blinding state of determination
Its eyes glazed over as it greedily attempts to account for its precious lost minutes

Such a finger of fate trying to erase any trace of remembrance of the two people who stepped outside of time;
confused into accepting the responsibility of understanding that we’re not alone…

…even if we become lost and forgotten after the weight of acknowledgement disappears into the normalcy of the continuation into the
seconds to minutes to hours to days to weeks to months to years

I am grateful for the good times <3

Just a post

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Happy November! I can’t believe this year is almost over, how bizarre! I moved across the US, started a new job, and started a band. It’s been hard to find time to write!

Enjoy your Saturday and if you have a bit of time, please check out some acoustic recordings that my band, getscarce, recorded this past week.

Have a great weekend :)

Blistered and Sore

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That voice
Echoing in through the
left and exiting the right
Eerily comforting
addicting
Similar ideals with multiple
personalities and emotions
One day is alright and
the people come out to play
The next, is cloudy and raining
No one is around at all
Relating on words and feelings
I see you
Even perched on this outside balcony
Making claim to a seat that
was never really here
I pause and think you
would probably like it
Or, at least relate to
the comforting darkness
Shadowing me in through the night
Claiming all burned from the sun;
blistered and sore.

I and grateful for rationality <3

Keep Burning

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Warm grazes from the proximity
to the fire envelope all feeling;
Slowly, internally while
Intensifying the sensitivity with each moment of awareness
The mind, dizzied with the
hazy pictures glowing inside the
depths of each flame,
Loses sense of any particular color and
only recognizes the wavering blue
of the passionate blaze
The kindled strength awarded from the battle of the vulnerabilities to the elements,
Demanding patience to keep burning;
Slide of hand over skin

I am grateful for patience <3

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There Is No End

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Walking down the hallway of doors
The outline’s path bordered with wooden dividers of space;
humbled by the careless mark of a
crookedly nailed number or letter
The cheap light fixtures flicker above head, on and off, as I continue stepping forward
The timing reaction of the immediate connections of light, foot, and awareness

There are locked doors with hardened handles, rusted from the abuse of occupation
There are doors that tell the truth, burdened by the weight of the knowledge of joy and pain
There are some doors that ignite the favorable possibilities of a mind’s endless amount of available realities
While other doors sit in waiting, offering a pleasant shelter to get lost in;
revolving around and around in a solitary state of repetitiveness

I open them all, claiming even the locked obstructions
Forcing my way behind the doors into the unknown;
Floating and dipping feet into the depths of a fluffy cloud against the blue sky,
Holding breath underwater, until there is no other sound than my heartbeat in ears,
Flying through space and time as the wished fortune of a shooting star disappearing into the black of the night,
Sprouting petals of color while washing the wind in a fragrance of Spring and of Summer,
Suspended paralyzed in emptiness, like the night terrors and dreams of dead thoughts and emotions of nothingness

There is no end

I am grateful for one more year <3