Imaginary forces grab on to me. My outline
shimmers and then fades. Each step
is an accomplishment. I’m blinded, tunneled by the
thought of you, loss regret, hatred, love. A
mixture so intense I can’t move.
Ghostly fingers try to soothe. Cold wisps of
imagination or truth?
Youth is gone, only loneliness now.
Bitterness surrounds the memory of when you were last
here. You, selfish, and unyielding
with your judgments.
One false step and then I surrender. I am
too weak to battle.
Lovers lie, lovers cheat. They steal
the soul that insists upon living. Pragmatic
musings and scornful tears. To love someone
and to be replaced with indecision.
The grass is always greener; you can’t see
past the tip of your nose. The game of life
you choose, you always have something to prove, but
you’re fake. You’re losing yourself within the standards of how
you think your life should be.
How stupid, to take advice from those who are
miserable and confused? And yet
you commit to their thought.
So young, so alone. You exclude yourself
until there is nothing left of you at all.
I am not a fighter, I am not alive at all. My time is
done but I can’t seem to let go.
I am grateful for the start of a new day/new year. Happy 2013 <;3