Monthly Archives: January 2014

Past, Present, and Future

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Past, Present, and Future

As I sit here on this stool, with the rubber cushion;
minus the splits of foam that I’ve sat in before
I resume a type of thinking more characterized
as self-reflection,
apparently focusing on the majority leaves one ignoring even
the most apparent responses of bodily intentions, my digression…
Anaylzing the differences seen from the past, present and future
Is there any mirror that defines life in a way
that isn’t scary to look at;
layering the foundations on the white scars that starting healing after
the last suture was placed
It’s interesting that memories take a form of their own
Categorizing emotions like I wasn’t living at all
But the body copies moments and marks up skin
At least for myself, if these things that I felt, either figuritively or litterally, were real
but i wonder, why can’t i remember?
Is there a certain price to pay for filling up mind, brain
with more thoughts than many are capable of beliving at all
Not that I mind being the mirrored masked portrait of someone
long forgotten,
but if chance had humor could it mean that there were a few less neurons firing then previoiusly thought?
Should I mind if I’m never told the same story twice
given only just the suggestion, the motivational penetration
of anyone else’s digressions that make it from one brain to the next?

I am grateful for the lost pieces. ❤

Shining In My Eyes

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Floating away from the frigid abyss

Slowly opening senses, as if an infant learning

the first moments of awakening

The void retreating;

almost as quickly as consciousness shifts

The current, lifting thought

Dramatically acknowledging every random

tendril of hair and/or cloth

An accidental journey predetermined by

the Keeper of the light, and

Monitored by those incandescent flashes of bubbles

of air building the momentum

for the fire to grow

The internal flame igniting the oxygen into

filtering the hibernating air sustaining

my lungs, enough to encourage

the scattered thumping beats of my heart

Gathering faster in anticipation

and in accomplishment

Fingers stretched as arms fan in and out;

Palms drawn up together towards the surface, penetrating

the water; shooting through like an arrow

Palms pushed down to escape the darkness

Black sea turns to green, then to blue

Curious creatures coming closer to see

Avoiding the spotlight pointing its rays towards my face

The sun shining in my eyes, blindingly

calling out my name…

 

 

I am grateful for this playlist (I prefer live music):

 

  1. “Everybody I Love You” aka LALALA! Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

Not an original but definitely a pretty good alternate: http://youtu.be/TE9T_iK9y0s

  1. “Speak In Rounds” Grizzly Bear: http://youtu.be/TGFeetTr5Ds
  2.  “White Rabbit” Jefferson Airplane: http://youtu.be/WANNqr-vcx0
  3. “State of the Art (A.E.I.O.U)” Jim James: http://youtu.be/THj4UjM-ZfQ
  4. “93 Million Miles” Jason Mraz: http://youtu.be/YEf7CAAQHFI

Shortest Outcomes Written

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447

Penetrating weapons of investigation; a kind of manipulative exploration

where random thought passes to prove someone’s punch line

The shifting subtle glances stirring up unexpected responses of curiosity;

what does that say about who we understand to be?

The wayward thoughts causing disruptive questions; thinking

Practicing those moments of clarity without surrendering to

defeat in minute flashes of distractions

Announcing victory in even the

shortest outcomes written.

I am grateful for dreaming. ❤

Happy 2014!

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Welcome to 2014! I hope your transition into the New Year was as pleasant as mine. It has taken me six whole days to try to reflect on this past year and write out an acceptable letter to explain it all. I’m not sure that I can, or that I want to go into it all again (once lived is good enough, right?). 2013 was a doosey, I am very blessed and grateful for everyone that has helped me, guided me, and ignored me throughout this time. I find myself having a love-hate relationship with this past year. My experiences epitomize the rollercoaster bumpy ride that plagues us all every once in a while, whether we’re prepared for it or not.

I’ve moved several times and in doing so, I’ve been lucky enough to meet new housemates and experiences. I’ve lost relationships and I’ve gained some. I’ve traveled a bit, making a note of NYC and the Florida Keys. I went to a ton of concerts, including a 3-day music festival. I’ve written some interesting pieces and I’ve thrown  a few away. I’ve started sketching again and strumming an acoustic from time to time.

Writing this post, I am listening to Incubus’ album “Make Yourself,” which came out in 1999. As I think back, what was I doing in 1999? The year of ’99 is the year I started writing for myself, the year I stopped trying to force write a diary and begin to write stories; or even random conversations that I had heard during my days. Now in 2014, I’m still writing, still listening to Incubus. With all of the changes in 2013, I guess I’ve realized in this moment, that we all experience major obstacles throughout the years that disrupt our lives. It’s the ability of picking up the pieces and finding the consistencies of ourselves, within ourselves, when we are able to truly move forward and grow.

The year of 2013 was one of the “picking up the pieces” kind of years for me. Have I changed? No, not really but I feel older (I prefer to think of myself more aged, as in vintage).  As a warrior of this battle of ordinary life, I relax and think of my new beginnings and where I find myself now. I still don’t know what to expect but I’m pretty sure I like it that way, at least for now.

Here’s my celebratory virtual Happy New Year cheer. I hope that you all write your best-sellers and make a lot of money!

 

 

I am grateful for all of the new beginnings this year will bring. ❤