Monthly Archives: July 2020

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They say he continues to exist there, in ethereal abandonment –

a place

half removed from his liminal state.

The Fall

claiming keeper to all of what (who) was lost

but these

fragments of ruminations linger.

It’s noiseless, save for the shrill cries ringing in head.


fade in and out as puzzle pieces scatter;

perceptual abnormalities distorting, twisting time and space.


builds doubt into something unrecognizable again…

another nebulous


– if I were

she and he were me –


recognize ourselves in each other;

am I wrong?


Humming or – someone singing into THE apparent nothing


except for me.


trailing softly, floating. Finding me effortlessly.


sweet but finishing a bit defiantly –

or perhaps

a projection of my own truth?


pounding loudly, hanging in the silence

Waiting, as

if the entire world was listening;

but there

was only me and

my breath

hanging in the air.

My single friend in the cold night;

despite it

being June on a Midwestern summer’s day.

The evoked

sensation sending chills down my spine


Beautiful aching love!

Oh how time defies me

Wrapped up in the day to day

Instead of comfortably in your arms…

I guess there’s always tomorrow.


And then look at you, you grew up into a body celebrated, famous –

or perhaps it’s just you. You’ve always been destined for greatness;

maybe this was the only relatable obtainment in this day and age.

Regardless, I’d be lying if I said my happiness for you is simply selfless

I AM selfish and find myself disgusted in the habitual nonsense 

It’s challenging here but we shuffle the playlist…

…on the worst days, the best songs are worthy of repeating over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and…


Nothing profound at all to say but goddamn! my heart is bursting with emotion

An ugly nagging response to my intended apathy

Perverting my mood of something worthy of meaning

The weight of the unsaid resting heavy…

Attempting to not get defensive and build barriers of dissociation. 

I am grateful for love ❤