My heart was breaking long before the final blow;
when thoughts became words that wormed their way in
and tried to eat flesh, to dig down and claim
domination of the basic foundation of soul
Where north was south and east was west,
forgetting time existed and fighting back moments of
seeing into the depths of hell
the darkest chamber of grief, guilt, hate, etc.
all of the negative desires that derive out of passion;
Painful yet numbing
So unnatural from any human feeling at all
beyond comparison to the worst physical
touch; the mind always hurts more
Escaping movie reel flashbacks of scenes so
hauntingly clear, forgetting becomes more of a job
than any kind of shift work
Muscles strain where I’ve never felt them before
Senses fail at the briefest of vulnerabilities
of bothering to go over these disgusting narratives,
again
There’s no such thing as a love that can hurt so good
I am grateful for these last few months ❤
