Tag Archives: learning

Lost to Silver



Image result for silver explosion


© Pavel Buzev



It starts, as two wooden blocks scrape together

Why, I don’t know why

Feather-light tickles fan out and scatter

Caressing back of neck and enveloping on and over top of head

The light, blinding behind closed eyes

The light, ever haunting in the background sky

Disappears into blue fireworks as it all fades away

My view forward of nothing other than this black hole

Reaching out, fingertips penetrate

Why, I don’t know why

Diving crown first into the unknown

Finding oneself lost in the eternal shadows

With only memories to guide the way out

Everything’s gone, lost to silver


I am grateful to end a chapter and to begin a new one ❤

The Fancy Pears – New Music Video


My band released a video yesterday for our song ‘Field of Hearts.’ This was such a fun experience, we recorded all of it at Olin Park in Madison, Wisconsin. I learned a lot about videography and editing, including how awkward it is to be on camera…hellooooo close-ups!! But overall, I am so proud to have been apart of this project and I’m grateful for all of the help we received in making it possible.

The inspiration behind the story might be interesting to some of my long-term WordPress friends, we loosely based the idea from a piece I wrote and published on here March 31, 2013: Muse Writer – The Queen of Hearts

Looking back now, I posted this three years prior to the day that The Fancy Pears played our first show at the High Noon Saloon in Madison and almost four years prior from the present. Crazy how everything seems to come full circle!

The Rejects


The rejects of a militaristic society
Graduates of a unified humanity, ostracized for their unique scholarly ambitions
Motivational questions?
Of knowledge, regardless of time and of place
Condemning the thoughts of these thinkers and establishing such creativity as the cultural group of a cliche form of crazy; or, identifying masculine as losing his “identity” of self
Their image reflected only from their own facial reactions seen from a glance in the bathroom mirror, oh the horror!
But what is right, that which is based on the very concept of what defines the plural wrongs in life
These views of the everyday normal and how awful that can be
What of this movement?
To live within the means of abnormality and the standard of the current teachings of normalcy and how it is expected to be, to mean
To understand the hidden meanings of the gifts we’re given in a time where anything is possible, or impossible not to believe
Any group of believers can learn enough to buildup empires of memories
And share them in glances of experiences and guidance.

I am grateful for a few days away ❤



Today, I woke up contemplating freedom. What does it really mean? Are we free if we can afford to pay off all of our debts?
Is someone free, who decides to quit his/her job/family and become a nomad?
Or, are we only ever free in death; no longer exhausted by the trials of being mortal and flesh?

Can the word “freedom” take on a personification of itself? We salute the flag in America to proudly honor those who have died for our freedoms. So now we are forced to worship the flag for people unknown to all of us individuals? We are taught a ritual to worship freedom, losing the freedom to salute those in honor, the way we would choose. The word “freedom” has multiple meanings for each of us; depending on family, situation, country, religion, demographic, etc. If I were to make a stand and suggest that the flag never be saluted again, would I then, be taking away another person’s freedom?

Is a person who is free, or one who experiences freedom, ultimately happy? For the nomad wanderer, does the thought of freedom lie within the decisions that are based on a moment’s notice? Is the nomad happy? Or, is he merely only choosing a different life because his definition of living is different than my idea of living?

I’m not necessarily afraid of the bounds and shackles used to make a person feel their loss of “freedom.” I am more concerned with the censorship of voice, of heart. So, what exactly am I afraid of?

Is freedom just a concept to help us remember fear? Without freedom, we have the fear of what our judges, our “gods” would decide for us; as our fate is determined by men and women who also have their own ideas about what freedom is. With freedom, are we constantly afraid of losing it?

Moreover, how does one become free within the realms of a time, or a place, where it is just not possible? Am I merely free when someone can define me as such? Am I free if I claim that I am?

For me, freedom more closely resembles something within me; a state of mind. I am shackled to societal standards and debts but my mind is FREE to explore anything that I can imagine. I can conjure up any idea and then stitch it into the lives of other minds.

I guess freedom means to me, probably what it means to everybody else. An idea/concept that is limitless in every aspect.

What do you think?

I am grateful to have the tools I need to explore my Freedom to its fullest. ❤