Tag Archives: reality

Office Lights

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City Street At Night Wallpaper Desktop Background by Stina Haglundh

 

In the dark of night, the city burned

Lamp haze illuminating out towards alleys and their mysterious corners,

Ordinary objects of notice depending on circumstance

Lining the drive forward one beacon after another

 

The car encapsulating our secret, you distant

Yellow windows arranged into faces peered down and I just kept thinking,

“how many of those poor lonely bastards are still caged in their towers?”

Whether intentionally or not

 

It was at this moment that my voice betrayed me

Completely consumed by the lit geometry of society

I didn’t feel your attention, didn’t hear your question

But there I was replying to something worth answering

“I hate it here.”

 

The last word trailing off into the hum of the car engine

Shadowy fingers of night reaching out and grabbing any response given,

I found myself silenced in the despair of confusion

Bewildered by my bizarre state-of-being

 

You kept driving to the center of everything

The weight of your hesitation creeping over the center console,

Isolating my thoughts to focus on sensing rather than seeing

As we always tend to do

 

Eyes glued to the graveled shoulder of pavement

Never daring to confirm if you were still in the car with me,

Knowing and questioning through the silence

Feeling insecure and lost in the absence

Thinking back, I’m not sure where I meant by ‘here’

The metropolis mirroring my favorites of experience,

Chicago, New York, Dublin, Miami

Visions design a conglomerate of what it is and what I’d like it to be

 

Claiming architect to discern the meaning, if any

Retelling the story as if there’s supposed to be an epiphany,

Over and over the memories tickle reasoning

As flashes of office lights dance behind my eyes

 

I am grateful for car rides ❤

Underground

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Ignoring his creamy fingers soiled muddy

Palms pressing on earth as fragile limbs fist one by one

Modest wishes leave him tempted of lifting substance

His innocent curiosity alerted to grasp the gravity of power

Existence watches on in rebellious indifference as

Black dirt sifts through self and back onto ground

The overhead light bulb swings in motion of the day

A pendulum of awareness forced from underground

As a child of wonder is sheltered in the recesses of a broken World.

I am grateful for solidarity ❤

insert title III

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Memories and Reflections

12-12-13

Standing on the hill with a random breeze catching on
His strawberry hair ruffled and soft to the touch;
Succumbing to the force within the currents of the wind

The sun and the moon endure their usual aversion of each other
As they sit on their thrones to enjoy the splendor below;
Loving the thoughtless creatures of mortal limitations

Of this one in particular pretending magnificence

(As a peaceful representation of living in perfect harmony
and fighting the fear of indifference
while promoting beauty in the uncertainty,
or at least the everyday moments that the
World can be too busy to notice)

As the ordinary miracles catches his attention;
A man of notice and the gifts of perception

Breathing in the reality tasted by the events determined
From the recordings of the subjects in question;
Their memories and reflections of them

She’s Not Me
7-7-15

I heard all of the rumors and

The messages that she sent

I thought maybe I was her but

She showed me that we’re different

Her wounds bound her together and

Although they seemed similar

I knew that I was only myself, that

She was not me but someone else

Another drifter saying the same things

Thinking the same thoughts day to day

Except she claims to see more

As if she knows the future

Or maybe bits and pieces of our

Memories shaped together

Dagger
7-8-15

I’ve got the fire burning in my belly

My heart is pumping strong

There’s a few words I’ve been thinking

That lay balanced on my tongue

I thought you were my brother

I called you my best friend

But at the first chance you got

You shoved a dagger into my back
Supposed Friends

7-8-15

Calling all supposed friends!

Oh where Oh where have y’all been?

I’ve found myself among the wolves

Their howls keep calling me home under the moon

Have I died and been gifted a life reborn?

I woke up soaking wet and standing alone

Dripping droplets of their bitter scorn

Leaving puddles of poison on the floor

The grass is always greener in this war

Battles of greed to keep us wanting more

You can claim all of the fields of clover

A fake reign won’t live on forever

I am grateful for lost thoughts ❤

There Is No End

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Walking down the hallway of doors
The outline’s path bordered with wooden dividers of space;
humbled by the careless mark of a
crookedly nailed number or letter
The cheap light fixtures flicker above head, on and off, as I continue stepping forward
The timing reaction of the immediate connections of light, foot, and awareness

There are locked doors with hardened handles, rusted from the abuse of occupation
There are doors that tell the truth, burdened by the weight of the knowledge of joy and pain
There are some doors that ignite the favorable possibilities of a mind’s endless amount of available realities
While other doors sit in waiting, offering a pleasant shelter to get lost in;
revolving around and around in a solitary state of repetitiveness

I open them all, claiming even the locked obstructions
Forcing my way behind the doors into the unknown;
Floating and dipping feet into the depths of a fluffy cloud against the blue sky,
Holding breath underwater, until there is no other sound than my heartbeat in ears,
Flying through space and time as the wished fortune of a shooting star disappearing into the black of the night,
Sprouting petals of color while washing the wind in a fragrance of Spring and of Summer,
Suspended paralyzed in emptiness, like the night terrors and dreams of dead thoughts and emotions of nothingness

There is no end

I am grateful for one more year ❤

Behind My Hands

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Haunting eyes stare through the darkness
Faces flash into view
Hollow lines trace the outlines of those watching
Conversations straining under the weight of the night
Silhouettes of emotional calculations
and burning questions of “is this me?”
I close my eyes to hide
Shutting out the indistinct realities of people I’ve never really known
All of the while, ignoring the pain of the days lost with all of their potential happiness
Instead, leaving self with the indescribable bitter endings
These halfway conclusions filling up with mind numbing confusions
So fresh I can taste it
We relate to these shadows of potential when our memories are gone forever
Feeling each similarity of disappointment as each random thought of unaccomplishment floats to the surface
Haunting eyes stare through the darkness
Even with my face hiding behind my hands

I am grateful for new beginnings and happy news ❤

Window

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‘Everything is illuminated’ within the borders of reality
This habitation of wavering echoes of light and sound that form shape and then dissolve
Looking through the barricaded Window towards this world of obscure clarity, I witness
Flashing strobes of color that blind eye and influence thought

To be on the outside of the Window is frightening, lost in the unknown
With the concealed answers of truth shadowing the possibilities
My fingers spread apart as my palms suction to the glass, oh to feel it!
The muffled vibrational energy flowing into being and recognizing life
How does one exist within the darkness only to live to pray for enlightenment?
While we wait practicing, by spending our days and nights cradling bits and pieces of the awareness like a newborn child

As an endless parade of figures, we march past the Window pane; do we all wonder what sort of power can break through the thickness?
Like caged animals we pace, back and forth parallel to the threshold, craving the next handout
The floor worn down from the many various feet who have travelled the path before but
Never questioning this unintentional battle of rationality of anticipating our wishes granted through careless promises to appease the minds

I march among the others, never seeing their faces or hearing their cries
But the emotion sticks to everyone like a humid sweat and
Our feet are soaked from the tears that we’ve cried
“I won’t go on!” I declare
A snarl breaks loose from deep inside my chest
I howl, growl, as a rabid dog looking at death;
My animalistic response to this complacency

I push and shove those vulnerable to my assault, other people blinded by uncertainty of decision
“The Window is MINE!” I roar into the hollows
The sound of voice extinguished by the intensity of denseness
If only as a reminder to the feelings of being alone

Clawing, kicking, slamming fists upon the Window glass
Motivated by the movements of self and the progression of events
My elbow cracks and the pain consumes, blood trickling down my arm to my hand
Lightning sparks and a spidervein weakness slowly appears on the Window;
Shedding a passion that I’ve never felt before, erasing all feeling of the body

I continue my beating, throwing my weight into my hands
Leaving bloody prints on the Window to announce what I have accomplished
Even as a ghost covered in my own blood, I can see my reflection in the Window
Now, forever smiling with the satisfaction of what’s to come

I am grateful for new opportunities ❤