Another day has descended into darkness
Another scratch mark on the inner walls of my mind
The countless doodles and scribbles of hope, desire, freedom, and pain
Each and every separate feeling and emotion or,
what we choose to understand
Precious moments wasted on having to demand particular explanations
Only to convince instead of just believing
I heard you built your army
The Legions of Light to Brighten the Eyes of those willing to see
A redemption from the shadowy graves where we were born; Do you remember?
We listened to the stories until we could repeat the tales ourselves
And then one day I wondered,
are all of the battle epics just exaggerated myths and folklore?
Were we fooled by the heroes who were only imagined to conquer the monsters lurking in the newly remodeled foyer closets and bathrooms?
A domesticated existence, forged from misdirected rationalities
Each calculated step off of the beaten path weakened by the faltering slips of indecision
All of the while, hiding from the random consequences being thrown around;
blood thirsty vampires of fate trying to choose their next unsuspecting victim
I tried once, I tried twice
to call out and in that space of time,
there wasn’t an answer, no echoing response
Only the painful intensity of silence to contemplate
Am I forgotten, abandoned? Hell no.
Back straight, feet firmly planted into the earth below;
body stature molded to shape the orphaned philosophies that we tried/try to forget
to save room for future expectations;
Watching a blue sky turn to black with a heavy emptiness that blankets the air in a layer of cold sweat
Only the humble stars daring to watch the liminalistic transition
Shining gemstones displaying their fiery stubbornness, all of them
Laughing at the irony as they rise together in their places of effervescent power.
I am grateful for dark nights. ❤
There is never a perfect moment
to imagine what could be
There are no alarms or sirens to announce each missed opportunity we seek
We grow to learn to fight each day with one hand in pocket
Squeezing knuckles into tight spaces while fingernailing the fabric
The other hand communicates the
wisdom of the world to the body;
Grasping minutes of times passed
that will only ever be the memories of feelings
But as the sun settles into his nightly retreat and
The stars begin to shine their way into the spare room in our hearts
The mind wanders in and out of the corridors of passage
Taking pleasure in stalling oblivion for just a bit longer
It is in this liminal space of awareness and slumber
To reflect on the gratitude of the experience of mistakes.
I am grateful for sleep ❤
Someone once told me that I was too sorrowful
That it changed my look, that I wasn’t pretty enough
I laughed in his face with my embodying humor and grief and said,
“Sir, if you can’t relate, then you’ve never felt anything before.”
My life as my rough draft
My appearance as the emotions found deep inside me.
while hidden within the darkness of dusk
I sat unobserved
while longing for a connection
A silent wish for another’s soul to break my solitude of awareness
I realized in that moment
that there was never a
Right or Wrong
way to being happy
That I could inherently discover joy among the stars overhead and
the scattered rocks beneath my feet.
A reminder that even during my loneliest thoughts,
I am never really alone.
I am grateful for balance ❤
Laying back, ground warm and soft
Wrapped in your arms, on the comfort of an old quilt
Pretending to care about the stars shining overhead;
Making that a reason to be here anyway
Whatever works, I’ll take it.
This is how I would imagine it
if you were here today…
I am grateful for technology. It makes communicating a lot easier ❤