Lost to Silver

 

 

© Pavel Buzev

 

 

It starts, as two wooden blocks scrape together

Why, I don’t know why

Feather-light tickles fan out and scatter

Caressing back of neck and enveloping on and over top of head

The light, blinding behind closed eyes

The light, ever haunting in the background sky

Disappears into blue fireworks as it all fades away

My view forward of nothing other than this black hole

Reaching out, fingertips penetrate

Why, I don’t know why

Diving crown first into the unknown

Finding oneself lost in the eternal shadows

With only memories to guide the way out

Everything’s gone, lost to silver

 

I am grateful to end a chapter and to begin a new one ❤

‘Livin’ On a Pear’ Out Now – The Fancy Pears Update

I’ve been working a lot with my band The Fancy Pears so I haven’t had the opportunity to organize myself into magical thoughts of penned realization BUT we released our first album “Livin’ On a Pear” this past Saturday. We’ve been working on it for almost a year, learning how to mix it ourselves before finishing it up. The album is set to be available for streaming on Spotify in a week or so but in the meantime, we’ve posted it on our website: www.thefancypears.com

Tanis

This song is loosely based on the Pacific Northwest Stories Podcast series ‘Tanis.’ Tim and I binged listened to the Podcast when we first found out about it and as it consumed our thoughts, we succumbed to its magic and came up with the melody and lyrics. 

Somewhere, in the atomic ocean

Floating in a sideways motion

The fisherman had lost his bet

His story, told across the land

 

Spinning, some new age logic

Stolen from ancient knowledge

Seventeen upon his head

The bookman finally met his match

 

Holy, you know I feel so holy

If only, the sky would hold me

Arms outstretched and smiling proud

The gambler fell straight to the ground

 

Beauty, you know I’ve seen true beauty

Flowing right straight through me

The runner cried and shook his head

I’ll never see that place again

 

Sunsweat

I wrote the lyrics and the melody to this during my first winter in Wisconsin. Most of the story is true other than me dreaming about it being hot; perhaps it was all a mirage. 

I was sitting on the front porch today

Feeling alone and kind of lame

Sunsweat dripped down my face

Cold sheen on the water’s glass

 

A clown on a bike, passed me by

With two others riding behind

A barking dog chased them all

They were there and then they weren’t

 

Do you feel the sun today?

Am I going crazy?

 

I stumbled coming out the door

And scraped my face along the earth

Light blinds, something burns my eyes

Sunsweat and blood trickle down

 

Field of Hearts

The lyrics for this song were based off of a piece I wrote several years ago. The Fancy Pears filmed it at a haunted house in Madison, Wisconsin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFuZ9c5bCJ4 

I could feel the cracks

Like I was a thin piece of glass

Fragile fingers enclose the frame

Bright eyes follow through the pane

 

In the field of hearts

There is a queen above us all

Shading the light with her advertised wisdom

In the field of hearts

There is a queen standing tall

She assumed the battle won

With all her fiends around us

 

Led by the wordsmith in a hat

Guided by thoughts that drive us mad

White rabbit whiskers lead the path

Counting time as it turns back

 

In the field of hearts

There is a queen above us all

Shading the light with her advertised wisdom

In the field of hearts

There is a queen standing tall

She assumed the battle won

With all her fiends around us

 

Off with her head, singing

Off with her head

To lay above our bed

Off with her head

 

Off with her head, singing

Off with her head

To lay above our bed

Off with her head

 

 

As Told by the Owl

We live in a fucked up society.

 

Bluebird across the water

Come and play with me

Let me have one song to sing

Underneath your tree

Old red tail hawk flew by

Shadow in the leaves

A belly hunting to satisfy

Hovering over me

 

In the graylight of the hour

Will you follow me?

A devil’s waiting for you here

To take you in your sleep

Go on and don’t look back

Cry away your fears

The wind will keep your feathers dry

All throughout the years

 

Up above the treetops

Here you sit with me

The darkness keeps us closer

The stars within our reach

Look up now little one

Pay no mind to me

The moon will greet your spirit home

Follow the light to see

 

Shine on

 

I am grateful for inspiration ❤

Soul of Martyr

Unknown Artist

Oh, phantom memories in their ever-haunting ways

Seeping colorful dreams that paint the chance of escape

I surrender this skin, burnt flesh reformed into something pleasant

A soul of martyr to remain a lost lover for centuries

 

Thin layers of time have folded in this simple state of mind

Senses attacked by fables now threatening to embalm hindsight

Since when did we decide to accept fate as bestowed by the heavens?

I forfeit my role in consciousness to prove my dedication

 

For thy heart, erase these foreign layers of today

We are one in the same as we were yesterday

No wiser in understanding the common assemblage

Forever incomplete in the art of mental association

 

Consume this World, learn to inwardly imbibe

There’s poison in the feelings thickening our minds

Only a few need to forget so the rest will survive

You must continue, I choose action in sacrifice

 

I am grateful for you ❤

Insert Title VI

CYMRU

Dylan Thomas as an observer
In the blue tree forest

Naked on the toilet
Drinking a bottle of beer
As the bubbles float to the top
of the fish aquarium

With thoughts of Cymru

In the lightest of considerations

Green fields and yellow leaves

 

 

Surrealistic Female

The lights reflect inside the shadow of thought
As I try to decipher the blinking of
on, off
A repetitive phrase I believe once spoken
But as it is now there’s no time for the forgotten
The monsters roam the sidewalks bearing
Their treasure in smiles
Darkness closing in on the veil as the dogs go
in,out
A smirk of content lingers from the one
As a questioning glance that masks certainty and love

 

 

Meeting Deadlines

Drop the needle on the floor

Oh god they will take me now

Too many sounds drifting through the silence

Too many unspoken feelings to hide them

Not requiring customization
No quotes of freedom
Puts an obstacle in the way of meeting deadlines

 

 

Disguising the Truth

The tunnel walls lay bare as an

Outline of the only way forward

When turning back isn’t an option

But leads to the current destination

Of one foot in front of the other

Is that laughter I hear?

The wind is always full of gossip

Assuming stories and spreading them out

Echoing louder through the confusion

Adding to it, disguising the truth

 

I am grateful for the dreamers ❤

mind Over matter

It pours

in and out of consciousness

As I float in the world

of imagination

Where hearts beat

as one in the collective

Accumulating experience of

feelings to differentiate

Determination brings thoughts

closer to the surface

Where they trail out of mouth

and into the heavens

 

and we’re free

to do what we want

when we want to do it

 

Knowing only self and what

I have witnessed

Trying to relate with that

knowledge and gain

some understanding

Of what it means to be

HUMAN

All of this in one

form of interaction of

opening soul up to

Anyone searching…?

Active listeners who

appreciate the intensity

Of another without

the employment of taking

each gift and knowingly unwrapping

Choosing to discard rather

than salvage it

 

and we’re free

to do what we want

when we want to do it

 

Just a simple task of

mind Over matter

 

 

I am grateful for The Fancy Pears ❤

http://www.thefancypears.com

http://www.facebook.com/thefancypears

Monthly Archives: July 2014

JUL29

Knock

Posted on July 29, 2014 by MuseWriter

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock…

The repetitive banging
Off-beat but continuously striking
“Wake up!” it says
But I always assume that
it’s all about me

I lay here questioning the urgency
A message to me, to you,
to everybody, the universe
A slew of emotions
tumbling topsy turvy
Penetrating my thoughts and
giving voices to the faces

A conversation of unimportant
sentences that are completely unassociated with anything
worthy of interest
To me, there I go again

The hammering slows as
laughter flows in through
the basement window
Intermixed within the jovial chirping
of the sparrows
Happily munching on the seed
I just purchased

The sWOosh of each car that passes
A different noise adding to
the consistent nonsense draining
my awareness
Proclaiming innocent happiness
Unknowing that not everyone
feels the same

JUL13

Uninhabitable Hollows

Posted on July 13, 2014 by MuseWriter

Everyone is asleep
While I find solace in
this empty closet
Sitting on the floor
comfortable and writing
Absently twirling a wayward strand
and chewing on bottom lip
These habitual reminders that
we never really change
(Except maybe our levels of
awareness and perception;
intuition?)
We all sometimes feel the
embarrassment from judgement
Thoughts that solidify
forming concrete structures in
our minds
Uninhabitable geometric spaces
that appear empty and dark
Some days I want to bulldoze
the whole city down
But as they say, the sun
always shines after the night
Illuminating these hollows
within our minds
Power igniting to imagine
new beginnings
Replacing each structure with
rows of flowering trees
Thoughts that I find now as my
hands dig through the soil
to plant the seeds
Preparing myself for future
times of solitude
Just like this
Where I can spend these
precious moments
Smelling the flowers and
enjoying the beauty
Instead of closing in and
retreating to the stories that
never end

JUL9

“Gas $3.89/gal”

Posted on July 9, 2014 by MuseWriter

Two pages;
The realization that
the end is near
How bittersweet, the
emotional response to
my awareness
The first writing, not
too similar to my
practices of today
“4/24/12”
An entry to begin and to
witness a life of change,
Titled: “Gas $3.89/gal
”

JUL7

I Sleep

Posted on July 7, 2014 by MuseWriter

The unpredictable scenario of

scattered checkered boxes of

trees, crops, houses, roads, cities

Every outline seen as a view into the life below

With the imperfect slices of bodies of water

Curvy strands branched out across

the land

Until meeting together in

lakes, ponds, rivers, sounds, oceans

Changing quickly underneath

Unnoticed, as the attention to detail is not as focused

Other senses claiming victor of the current state

of flight;

of mind

A journey in the night, wandering

above treetops, and

whatever else

is stumbling about

Companions to a lonely beast

Hungry for the instinct to keep

flying forward;

or right to left,

sky to ground,

Skimming the surface of one of the

random pools of water;

mirroring the sky,

silver from the darkness

reflecting the moon above

To get a quick drink, or a delicious

bite to eat

Maybe chance a glance at the

furry face in front of me

Slightly distorted by the motion

from the ups and downs

Feeling the touch of sustenance

sliding over nose

Cool, the wetness leaving a residual glove

until air has wiped it away

Lifting up, mouth full and

body light in contentment

the steady push of cold air gliding over

eyes, nose, mouth, ears, tongue

Sucking in the fresh air forcing

its way into lungs

A numbing embrace of throat

to help concentrate the breath

Until wings become heavily satisfied with

the path of flight

Slowly making way to cave or tree

Watching sunrise morning after each evening

then hiding from the vulnerabilities

of the day

When the rest of the world

explores the places that I’ve seen,

I sleep.

 

JU
L

1

I am a Person

Posted on July 1, 2014 by MuseWriter

Titles and labels

Insignificant one or two word liners

that create six faces of intolerance

 

“Who are you?’ they ask

when “What do you do?”

is more applicable

 

I am a Writer

I am a Woman

I am a Liberal

I am an American

 

How appropriate each response

seems to fit into each individual’s ideal, those

digging for classifications so easy to understand

Can we be so conveniently defined?

 

I am ME

does that count?

 

I am Nobody

According to the other unknowns who

consider their days worthless

without the comparison to a

him or her

 

I shed these definitions like

a snake, picking up and eating the scattered

bits and pieces of debris falling off

Just a common creature

vulnerable to attack or

persuaded to defend,

if necessary

 

I am a Person

Living in a world of other people

Focusing on the similarities

of love and compassion

Instead of the boundaries

of differences to hate

 

I am Human

Who are you?

Porcelain Darling

Enchanted Doll by Marina Bychkova

Do you see me,

As I would

Like to believe I am

Or, as a porcelain darling

Unrecognizable to

Responsibility?

Offering nothing

Redeemable of

Deserving appreciation

 

As I continue my days

Feeling phased out

Of connecting with

the personified

corporation of

egotistical Sirs-in-training

who smile broadly

at pretty faces while

building glass ceilings

for anyone other than

themselves

 

So I politely fill

My role as I’m supposed

To, smiling widely

At those surrounding as

The power hungry

Continue eating all of

Our worth

I forfeit the games

if only to survive

 

I am grateful for experience ❤

Monthly Archives: June 2015

JUN25

Heart

Posted on June 25, 2015 by MuseWriter

Heart don’t fail me now

The room’s spins are keeping me facedown

Looking at my feet planted on the ground

Ignoring everything trying to stay calm

My own thoughts screaming out

You’re stupid, you’re sick, you’re all on your own!

Oh heart, tell me something else

I’m feeling disappointed in myself

Even with you and your love around

I’m better than what I am and what I know

I’m stronger than what’s left of me now

Desperate to cash in my promises to this World

Beat heart! Shake off the dusty rubble

Open up to purge out the damages done

With a butter knife slice down the middle

Its jagged lacerations driving the blood

Separating the pieces into two parts of myself

One half for my soul and one half for my love

Heart don’t fail me now

Feeling the look of those pair of brown eyes

Staring back at me with only love and life

Ignoring everything except for us

My own thoughts screaming out

Don’t fuck this up girl, this is what you want!

 

JUN12

The Spectator

Posted on June 12, 2015 by MuseWriter

You lighted the match

I inhaled you in as if you had been reborn as the lingering swirls of smoke floating from the flame-tipped incense sitting on the bedside table

While we sat consumed by the sentient darkness of substance billowing from beginning to end in and around our heads and enveloping my spirit

The room lay crowded of these jealous loners with their drifting extensions turning into little ghost dancers that veiled our space within my illuminated nebula

As I, The Spectator, perceived bursting bright sparks of color that stimulated my humanistic animation of awareness into a series of shadows and aromas

My senses continuously manipulating the meanings of (in)sanity while replacing recent musings to help highlight the desires residing beneath the hazy surfaces

You are here

We confronted the distorted facades of mercy through the minutes of time, acting as one soul together to escape the labyrinth of this universal divide

While connected, we forget to suffer but not merely as a defiant act of existence, we LIVE creating and changing nature to distort our sight and alter this godless transcendence

All of the while being overshadowed by the face of god hanging on the wall with his tick-tock ticking and buzzes of shrilling announcements of opinions chiming in

Little ditties of knowledge dictating the role to play during the hours of our daily lives, if only to help us understand that there is no escaping the fluidity of blood

Knowing that the body and the mind follow the soul through the discussions of self and continue to travel through the spaces of being to the heart

You are me

We willfully remain attached to the weight of the World however, finding solace within our effervesced embrace of arms and legs, heat and skin

Ignoring the sneering gestures of jealousies and misunderstandings, the many masks that can appear even from those who emphasize friendship and solidarity

But we claim each other through this built up intensity of psyche to provide each self with the layers of the emotional responses available to the soul and the body

Offering anything and everything to one another and creating our own power to pass out to the rest of this fickle place of one moment versus the next or, one person’s thoughts versus our own

We choose our fate by escaping it all within this shielding entwinement of essence floating from the heat of my passions to You as we burn together to flame the torch, turning this World blue one blaze at a time

The Fancy Pears @ Var Gallery & Studios, Milwaukee WI

I traveled to Milwaukee this past weekend to play at the beautiful art gallery Var Gallery & Studios. We had a great time playing for our friends who came out to make this a truly memorable experience. The video was posted through Facebook but I’m pretty sure you can check us out even if you don’t have an account. Maybe it works? lol ❤

https://www.google.com/url?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FVarGalleryStudios%2Fvideos%2F601609793332236%2F&sa=D&sntz=1&usg=AFQjCNHXpWcEdkQ2Qbk3_z_P1J-vYuOfHA

New Music – So It Begins…

My band The Fancy Pears has released our song titled “So It Begins…” Let us know what you think!  ❤ ❤ ❤