New Music

My band The Fancy Pears has released a couple of new songs recently, one titled San Berdu and the other First March, Then Charge. We’re working on an album to be released next year, new keyboard/synth player and all 🍐

New Songs

Swimming Ducks

Across the street. Madison, WI 8/30/18

Oh sweltering morning, your humid heat consumes
Beads of sweat rolling freely down spine

The daily ritual rising up into awareness

Taking over movement

Succumbing to habit

I swear it wasn’t I, Mother Earth of the divine!

Salty tears sapping spirit and drowning body

Compressing focus

Missed opportunities of silence

Some might spend their days in wonder

Of the sky and the trails ablaze above

In my place, I’ll be down at the bottom

Of the puddles, as ducks swim overhead

I am grateful for the sun ❤

Office Lights

City Street At Night Wallpaper Desktop Background by Stina Haglundh

 

In the dark of night, the city burned

Lamp haze illuminating out towards alleys and their mysterious corners,

Ordinary objects of notice depending on circumstance

Lining the drive forward one beacon after another

 

The car encapsulating our secret, you distant

Yellow windows arranged into faces peered down and I just kept thinking,

“how many of those poor lonely bastards are still caged in their towers?”

Whether intentionally or not

 

It was at this moment that my voice betrayed me

Completely consumed by the lit geometry of society

I didn’t feel your attention, didn’t hear your question

But there I was replying to something worth answering

“I hate it here.”

 

The last word trailing off into the hum of the car engine

Shadowy fingers of night reaching out and grabbing any response given,

I found myself silenced in the despair of confusion

Bewildered by my bizarre state-of-being

 

You kept driving to the center of everything

The weight of your hesitation creeping over the center console,

Isolating my thoughts to focus on sensing rather than seeing

As we always tend to do

 

Eyes glued to the graveled shoulder of pavement

Never daring to confirm if you were still in the car with me,

Knowing and questioning through the silence

Feeling insecure and lost in the absence

…

Thinking back, I’m not sure where I meant by ‘here’

The metropolis mirroring my favorites of experience,

Chicago, New York, Dublin, Miami

Visions design a conglomerate of what it is and what I’d like it to be

 

Claiming architect to discern the meaning, if any

Retelling the story as if there’s supposed to be an epiphany,

Over and over the memories tickle reasoning

As flashes of office lights dance behind my eyes

 

I am grateful for car rides ❤

The Fancy Pears – New Music Video

My band released a video yesterday for our song ‘Field of Hearts.’ This was such a fun experience, we recorded all of it at Olin Park in Madison, Wisconsin. I learned a lot about videography and editing, including how awkward it is to be on camera…hellooooo close-ups!! But overall, I am so proud to have been apart of this project and I’m grateful for all of the help we received in making it possible.

The inspiration behind the story might be interesting to some of my long-term WordPress friends, we loosely based the idea from a piece I wrote and published on here March 31, 2013: Muse Writer – The Queen of Hearts

Looking back now, I posted this three years prior to the day that The Fancy Pears played our first show at the High Noon Saloon in Madison and almost four years prior from the present. Crazy how everything seems to come full circle!

❤

mind Over matter

It pours

in and out of consciousness

As I float in the world

of imagination

Where hearts beat

as one in the collective

Accumulating experience of

feelings to differentiate

Determination brings thoughts

closer to the surface

Where they trail out of mouth

and into the heavens

 

and we’re free

to do what we want

when we want to do it

 

Knowing only self and what

I have witnessed

Trying to relate with that

knowledge and gain

some understanding

Of what it means to be

HUMAN

All of this in one

form of interaction of

opening soul up to

Anyone searching…?

Active listeners who

appreciate the intensity

Of another without

the employment of taking

each gift and knowingly unwrapping

Choosing to discard rather

than salvage it

 

and we’re free

to do what we want

when we want to do it

 

Just a simple task of

mind Over matter

 

 

I am grateful for The Fancy Pears ❤

http://www.thefancypears.com

http://www.facebook.com/thefancypears

Weight

There is only a slight difference

In countenance, as we continue

The sentences that build up

This conversation

As I tell myself it’s only

A hesitant sideways glance that

offers no room for notice,

Or mention, of opinion that the

current moment in time

Weighs more than the last

 

I am grateful for heavy lifting ❤

Monthly Archives: July 2014

JUL29

Knock

Posted on July 29, 2014 by MuseWriter

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock…

The repetitive banging
Off-beat but continuously striking
“Wake up!” it says
But I always assume that
it’s all about me

I lay here questioning the urgency
A message to me, to you,
to everybody, the universe
A slew of emotions
tumbling topsy turvy
Penetrating my thoughts and
giving voices to the faces

A conversation of unimportant
sentences that are completely unassociated with anything
worthy of interest
To me, there I go again

The hammering slows as
laughter flows in through
the basement window
Intermixed within the jovial chirping
of the sparrows
Happily munching on the seed
I just purchased

The sWOosh of each car that passes
A different noise adding to
the consistent nonsense draining
my awareness
Proclaiming innocent happiness
Unknowing that not everyone
feels the same

JUL13

Uninhabitable Hollows

Posted on July 13, 2014 by MuseWriter

Everyone is asleep
While I find solace in
this empty closet
Sitting on the floor
comfortable and writing
Absently twirling a wayward strand
and chewing on bottom lip
These habitual reminders that
we never really change
(Except maybe our levels of
awareness and perception;
intuition?)
We all sometimes feel the
embarrassment from judgement
Thoughts that solidify
forming concrete structures in
our minds
Uninhabitable geometric spaces
that appear empty and dark
Some days I want to bulldoze
the whole city down
But as they say, the sun
always shines after the night
Illuminating these hollows
within our minds
Power igniting to imagine
new beginnings
Replacing each structure with
rows of flowering trees
Thoughts that I find now as my
hands dig through the soil
to plant the seeds
Preparing myself for future
times of solitude
Just like this
Where I can spend these
precious moments
Smelling the flowers and
enjoying the beauty
Instead of closing in and
retreating to the stories that
never end

JUL9

“Gas $3.89/gal”

Posted on July 9, 2014 by MuseWriter

Two pages;
The realization that
the end is near
How bittersweet, the
emotional response to
my awareness
The first writing, not
too similar to my
practices of today
“4/24/12”
An entry to begin and to
witness a life of change,
Titled: “Gas $3.89/gal
”

JUL7

I Sleep

Posted on July 7, 2014 by MuseWriter

The unpredictable scenario of

scattered checkered boxes of

trees, crops, houses, roads, cities

Every outline seen as a view into the life below

With the imperfect slices of bodies of water

Curvy strands branched out across

the land

Until meeting together in

lakes, ponds, rivers, sounds, oceans

Changing quickly underneath

Unnoticed, as the attention to detail is not as focused

Other senses claiming victor of the current state

of flight;

of mind

A journey in the night, wandering

above treetops, and

whatever else

is stumbling about

Companions to a lonely beast

Hungry for the instinct to keep

flying forward;

or right to left,

sky to ground,

Skimming the surface of one of the

random pools of water;

mirroring the sky,

silver from the darkness

reflecting the moon above

To get a quick drink, or a delicious

bite to eat

Maybe chance a glance at the

furry face in front of me

Slightly distorted by the motion

from the ups and downs

Feeling the touch of sustenance

sliding over nose

Cool, the wetness leaving a residual glove

until air has wiped it away

Lifting up, mouth full and

body light in contentment

the steady push of cold air gliding over

eyes, nose, mouth, ears, tongue

Sucking in the fresh air forcing

its way into lungs

A numbing embrace of throat

to help concentrate the breath

Until wings become heavily satisfied with

the path of flight

Slowly making way to cave or tree

Watching sunrise morning after each evening

then hiding from the vulnerabilities

of the day

When the rest of the world

explores the places that I’ve seen,

I sleep.

 

JU
L

1

I am a Person

Posted on July 1, 2014 by MuseWriter

Titles and labels

Insignificant one or two word liners

that create six faces of intolerance

 

“Who are you?’ they ask

when “What do you do?”

is more applicable

 

I am a Writer

I am a Woman

I am a Liberal

I am an American

 

How appropriate each response

seems to fit into each individual’s ideal, those

digging for classifications so easy to understand

Can we be so conveniently defined?

 

I am ME

does that count?

 

I am Nobody

According to the other unknowns who

consider their days worthless

without the comparison to a

him or her

 

I shed these definitions like

a snake, picking up and eating the scattered

bits and pieces of debris falling off

Just a common creature

vulnerable to attack or

persuaded to defend,

if necessary

 

I am a Person

Living in a world of other people

Focusing on the similarities

of love and compassion

Instead of the boundaries

of differences to hate

 

I am Human

Who are you?

Porcelain Darling

Enchanted Doll by Marina Bychkova

Do you see me,

As I would

Like to believe I am

Or, as a porcelain darling

Unrecognizable to

Responsibility?

Offering nothing

Redeemable of

Deserving appreciation

 

As I continue my days

Feeling phased out

Of connecting with

the personified

corporation of

egotistical Sirs-in-training

who smile broadly

at pretty faces while

building glass ceilings

for anyone other than

themselves

 

So I politely fill

My role as I’m supposed

To, smiling widely

At those surrounding as

The power hungry

Continue eating all of

Our worth

I forfeit the games

if only to survive

 

I am grateful for experience ❤

Monthly Archives: July 2013

 

 Gravel Road

Posted on July 31, 2013 by MuseWriter

7/9/13
Blindly walking down the gravel road
Outlined in wavering oak trees mixed in with pines
I count each forward step, grateful for the movement
Thankful to have the strength to be standing at all
The random rocks scattered below foot
Offer an uncomfortable pathway to travel
Carefully avoiding sharp edges protruding from the dirt
Sucking in breath as one quick glance fails to notice the pointy canine of a monster
Fangs out, hungry for flesh
Bloodthirsty stranger claiming ownership
Gouging the arch of my left foot, leaving a trail of blood behind.

A Master of the Call

Posted on July 30, 2013 by MuseWriter

Passion seeping, seething to begin to tell the story of an introduction of the most extraordinary kind
A kinship of identity, feeling apart of something at the very first discovering of voice.

A master of the call patiently carrying out thoughts and creating thinkers who long to continue the traditions:
Of thought provoking, mind boggling, completely ordinary phrases that trump any trained structure taught to little boys and girls;
Who paint pretty flowers that represent the generics of an underground world, but not him.

Disregarding the perfectly placed soapbox and stepping off into the crowd, emerging self to penetrate the barriers of the weak mind
One of the brightest stars known to our eyes,
I can still see him burn, burn, burn
Igniting the fuel in those who feel alive.

1 + 1

Posted on July 27, 2013 by MuseWriter

The backdrifters:

A picturesque display of the 2D sideways view of the

stick figures climbing

The stairs into oblivion

Is this transition so modern, so irrelevant

To anything meaningful at all?

Patiently we tremble

Buckling from the strength “borrowed”

for the good of the people and all of the good that will do

Masking consideration with indifference

So as to not draw any unwanted attention

Of what he said/she said

Have you heard what he said/she said?

Would it be alright if we could

replace uniformity with a new kind of thinking;

to save lives?

To promote the spiritual awakening within the familiar

memories of everyone gazing at the stars,

Those curious enough to see past the barriers and restrictions

of our world

and forget the basic math of 1 + 1

Where are the heroes?

Posted on July 26, 2013 by MuseWriter

Making friends with the little face in the blanket

An onlooker with a friendly smile to offer

at just the right glance, to see the full bearded grin

Knowing me, myself, deeper

perceiving all of the idiosyncrasies to claim, that I navigate

Giving in, to someone

Anyone relatable to vulnerability

An abstract being committed to acknowledging

every ounce of the commitment to waiting

Even if I dive down into the deepest depths of the ocean,

just for a quick dip, every once in a while.

To find balancing minds that comprehend a particular understanding

Those who challenge all of these pent-up frustrations;

Every building block balancing on the last square’s sharp corner

Escaping face, running away

Blaming those who claim to penetrate the thought

but then falter when the war horn starts blowing;

Cowards that brave the training but abandon the reality

Of it all, if this is all

just a daytime act of the fairytale world

Who are our warriors?

Where are the heroes?

Everything, or Nothing At All

Posted on July 24, 2013 by MuseWriter

6-14-13

 

Soft humming, whispering through the dark

A song that carries a familiar melody,

a voice that I hear often

Deep, harmonious onto itself, splitting moments of sound into a stereo

speaker of what is being said, sang

I understand what it costs, to be yourself and forget

the thoughts that project, interject

from everyone screaming around

The intensity is loud, overbearing, uncontrollable

What of this awareness if there is no one to see it?

Time always proves the existence of man

To see him stumble, fall, and still rise, to lift himself up;

True will; impenetrable determination,

until light is eventually extinguished

Is this the song, the meaning behind the feeling suggested;

An introduction to the power of what rules the world?

The angel sings, echoes softly within the breeze

Catching on the particles that reflect off of the moon

They flitter, flutter

Dancing to the flow

Little fairies of a fraction of light to behold

I hum out a wish to further push the troops along

A breath of exhaling frustrations searching for the mutual understanding

of companionship

and what that means, if I could believe in everything,

or in nothing at all.

Old Shoes

Posted on July 23, 2013 by MuseWriter

Someone I once met, was an advocate of shoes

“The most important aspect of walking,”

Said an older man with a learning soul

Enjoying the day, enjoying the people

Showing off a younger brand than expected;

However, they were all white,

I’ve heard that’s cliché?

But he didn’t know, and if he did, he didn’t care

Happy as a satisfied customer invested in selling his satisfactions with another

Who happened to be me, as I reflected on

The time I first put my shoes on my feet

One year, maybe two; my disregarded

necessity of almost everyday wear

Mostly gray with a rubber sole of neon pink,

Perfect balance of my kind of fashion, comfort

If I have to be convinced of buying new footwear, it must be easy to find the replacement;

This, coming from a skeptic

I’m hesitant to admit that my shoes are old.

If you were here today…

Posted on July 22, 2013 by MuseWriter

Laying back, ground warm and soft

Wrapped in your arms, on the comfort of an old quilt

Pretending to care about the stars shining overhead;

Making that a reason to be here anyway

Whatever works, I’ll take it.

This is how I would imagine it

if you were here today…

Ink Blotches

Posted on July 22, 2013 by MuseWriter

A festival for summer to gather the thinkers

Collecting names and creating futures one by one

Marching them in like cattle to be herded and sorted

Ironically matching identity of self into what self stands against

Creating an image, creating a challenge, creating a burden?

As a child I wander; not searching, nor pretending

Was this to witness a gift or a plot of destruction?

Another thought added to the list of doubt and pessimistic questions;

But I think everyone has some of those

Whether locked up in the moldy storage trunk, long forgotten in the attic

Or, burning in eyes until question mark ink blotches stain face black

Music

Posted on July 21, 2013 by MuseWriter

The melody is soft, playing slow,

harmonizing air to produce the flow of sound

With vibrations thundering through to the heart, keeping beat or count,

of how much life costs

A transcending thought from artists to listeners, connected by the

shared moments of understanding

One medium yearning to strip naked of bodily self and

give soul to all;

the other, open to enlightenment and

characterizing feelings and emotions,

empathy

A satisfying gift to witness, to experience

Assisting in quenching the thirst for inspiration by saving the full glass of motivation

for the dry tongued, those of the communicators

of mouth and word;

conducting phrases of letters and

weaving them into various

sequences of belief(s)

Only those worthy of

interpreting voice should ever

listen to music at all.

Anew

Posted on July 21, 2013 by MuseWriter

Searching the crowd

Dedicatingly scanning faces for someone, anyone

My body as self-aware, before mind could respond;

maybe humbled by the overall feeling

Foreshadowing that any particular day may have an outcome

that defines the rest of life

Sometimes fate leaves the harder decisions up to the Universe

But not always; sometimes one’s given the chore of deciphering

choice from careful consideration

Although I find balance best, it’s harder to be patient for the motion to end

Carrying the weight of the world and assessing the burden of mankind against

the sky and the trees, the prairie grass and the seas, or the mountains and the river streams;

The natural magical wonders that feed the curious,

tempting retreat outside of any kind of stressful physical means:

I envision an oasis of pine and oak leaves bordering out

green edges against the blue summer sky

A slight breeze to shuffle the air and freshen the mood,

to create energy and movement

When I picture myself standing inside my utopian safe-haven,

I am not alone

But with you, a new lover of heart who

answers to the call of the beat when heard

Imprinting empathetic minds, living in the world anew.

If it is…

Posted on July 16, 2013 by MuseWriter

If it is song, then we can sing

If it is prayer, then we can pray

If it is silence, then we can think

Too many if, then contemplations to consider

I find myself remembering less when I focus on trying to figure out more, details

Of this and that, of her and him

Faces that shift shape and illuminate questions of recognition

But are we that familiar?

I ask for forgiveness from the deep vibrations of my bones

Can you hear the echo bouncing off of the muscles and tendons

digging down into the deep, dark edges of my soul;

Hiding from the reaper, seeking within?

Belief seems fake and brittle these days

But I’ve never understood the belief in the falsity of placing so much meaning on

any particular word, words, to outline:

Some definition of phrase to listen to or compose for a muse’s kind of gathering

Would you listen to the voices calling out random names,

Quiet whispers dancing on the erratic changes of the wind?

The identity of a character determined by the mind of the reader,

And who hears, what is being interpreted the “correct” way;

to trust in communicating and giving up on all other

interpretations to shuffle through.

If it is song, then we can sing

If it is prayer, then we can pray

If it is silence, then we can think

 

The Monster Within

Posted on July 14, 2013 by MuseWriter

Glancing down through the storybook
Fumbling through the pictures and stopping on a familiar scene of intense contrasts
Background black but outlining a lone figure illuminated by an opened door’s light
Just a shadow caught in-between the different realities and wondering how to connect
As the true self opens up, the metaphorical sharp teeth grow into a snarl
The monster within scaring away the person who finally solves the riddle, whatever the answer may be?
Understandable resentments that pop when squeezed hard enough,
And ooze a tainted green slop of contemplation; not that it really matters.

I feel a sense of understanding; wondering why darkness seems so stereotypically engulfing?
This liminal body, reflecting curiosity into the story
Always tempted by learning, perhaps addicted to the questions asked as chance happens
I try to focus, least of all, on the other aspect of individuality;
That we often find ourselves exploring these thoughts alone.

No One

Posted on July 14, 2013 by MuseWriter

Should I cover mouth and smile,
Through eyes so as to cause less discomfort?
What child stands upright at the break of learning how to walk?
There is no one who can blindly lift themselves up;
every pathway cannot be claimed, walked
We are a body of matches and pairs
Silhouettes of shadows and meaning
To disgrace oneself by judging the unknown;
no one is good enough to predict the many faces of the future
But if you have opinions to share
Please let me offer;
if you can’t believe than get the fuck out.

Absolute Certainty

We’re both waiting for the moment

When sharp mouths seem important

Or, at least what we would choose to say to face…?

The question to answer is thrown

In one direction to be tossed aside

As if either one of us could ever hide

From the truth, or what we claim:

You should know that I am blind

A naïve child playing games of the mind

Thinking backwards to left, upwards to right

Only to end up in the dark once again

Broken beyond relief of hope

Determined to stay involved by

Attaching self to your charm and

What I choose to believe in

With the answer as simple as this:

I know nothing with absolute certainty

 

I am grateful for the stars ❤